


Is that a Bible in Your Pants or are You just Happy to See Me?

by KiaraMGrey



Series: Good Omens Meet-Cutes [5]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Sex, And so is Aziraphale, Blasphemy, Blow Jobs, Bottom Crowley (Good Omens), Church Sex, Crowley's a Slut, Crowley's a Tease, Double Entendre, Flirting, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Semi-Public Sex, Top Aziraphale (Good Omens), second meetings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:34:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29098104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiaraMGrey/pseuds/KiaraMGrey
Summary: Crowley visits Aziraphale at his church, and Aziraphale has a minor crisis.Part 2 to Worship of Another Kind
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Good Omens Meet-Cutes [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128290
Comments: 85
Kudos: 307
Collections: Good Omens Human AUs, Top Aziraphale Recs





	Is that a Bible in Your Pants or are You just Happy to See Me?

**Author's Note:**

> This is part 2 to Worship of Another Kind, which was the last fic in this series. Read that before reading this!
> 
> I'm definitely going to be updating my ongoing fics, but at the moment this is all I can handle, and I figured these one shots were better than nothing! Might do an angsty one next, just to mix it up.

Aziraphale was freaking out. What the _hell_ had he been thinking? The number of ways in which he had royally messed up was a weight on his mind that he did not need right now. Firstly, he never should have gone into Crowley’s home. That was highly unprofessional and against the church’s rules. Speaking of which, he _really_ shouldn’t have slept with him, as that was absolutely against the church’s rules.

But god, Crowley had look so incredible. He had called out to him, like the apple to Eve. Except, of course, Eve did not _fuck_ the apple! That was where his mind kept winding to. Conversations were fine. Even flirtations were fine. But sleeping with possible congregation member was not. If Gabriel found out he would be furious.

That didn’t stop his mind from replaying it over and over on repeat. All day Saturday he had done little more than stare into space and think about the way Crowley had looked between his legs with his mouth wrapped around his cock. Glorious. And the way he had taken him so readily, already prepped with the plug. One thing was for certain, Crowley was by far the most stunning creature he had ever had the pleasure of fucking. But that didn’t make it right!

And now it was Sunday, and he was standing just inside the front door to the church, twisting his hands nervously. Realistically, he knew there was no reason to be nervous. It wasn’t like Crowley was actually going to _come_ to the service. He had made it very clear that this wasn’t his sort of thing and had no interest in joining him. Because while it may have been a memorable night for Aziraphale, it was likely just another Friday for Crowley. He was the sort of charming, suave, sexy man that could pick up anyone he wanted and bring them back to his for a quick fuck. He didn’t pursue shy, frumpy bookworms like himself. He had only asked to see him again to be polite. By now he would have forgotten all about him. And Aziraphale should be glad about that, but he wasn’t. Because he _did_ want to see Crowley again.

He wanted to get a better look at that twisting little tattoo on his temple, map it with his tongue. He wanted to card his hands through that red silk hair and make him hum like a satisfied cat. He wanted that sinful mouth on him once more. But wanting didn’t do any good when what he wanted was impossible. He was likely never going to see Crowley again, unless he went back to his flat. Which he wasn’t going to do, because that was just a bit too humiliating for him to handle. Therefore, the only thing to do was to get over him.

He tried to put himself in the present, nodding and smiling to the church members who filed in through the door and filled up the pews. He just needed to get through the next few hours, and then he could scurry back to his bookshop and hide away from his brother until next Sunday. Speak of the devil.

“Aziraphale!” Gabriel boomed, smacking his hands together. “How did Friday’s mission go?”

“Oh, ah, really well!” It wasn’t a lie. It had gone very well for himself.

Gabriel’s eyebrows rose. “Oh? Will we have a few new members today?”

“Uh, perhaps. There were a few who seemed interested.”

Again, not a lie. Crowley had seemed extremely interested in what was in his pants. He forced his face to remain neutral.

“Is that so?” Gabriel’s tone held a note of disbelief. “I hope that’s true. Because both Michael and Sandalphon have brought in new members from their respective missions. I’d hate to think you’re slacking.”

Aziraphale pressed his lips together. He knew for a fact Sandalphon had paid the people he brought, and Michael put the fear of, well, her in them. In truth, he had gone straight home after leaving Crowley’s. Because Crowley had been right. All he was doing was wasting his time.

“I assure I was not. I put the work in.”

Oh yeah, he had put the work in alright. Ok, now he was definitely blushing.

Gabriel plastered on one of his big, fake smiles. “That’s good to hear. I hope they’re all quality folks.”

“Oh, yes, they seemed absolutely-OH MY GOD!”

Aziraphale’s mind jumped completely off the track, because standing just outside the doors to the church, was Crowley. He stood a few meters out, smoking a cigarette and staring up at the building. He looked a great deal different from how he had on Friday, but Aziraphale would recognize that shoulder length red hair anywhere. He was wearing a leather jacket that had red sequins sewed into the shoulder pads along with the tightest jeans Aziraphale had ever seen. His feet were clad in thick combat boots and a pair of stylish sunglasses covered his lovely eyes. In truth, he looked unfairly cool. As Aziraphale watched, Crowley flicked the cigarette onto the ground and stomped it out.

“Aziraphale?” Gabriel asked in alarm. “What’s wrong?”

“Hmm?” He forced his eyes back on his brother. “Wrong? Nothing’s wrong, why would it be?”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. “Because you shouted rather loudly.”

Aziraphale’s eyes darted over his shoulder once more and saw Crowley make his way inside. As soon as his eyes seemed to fall on Aziraphale, his face lit up.

“No, ah, sorry. It’s just that—”

“Aziraphale!”

Gabriel turned to Crowley, who had just walked up beside them. He saw his brother scan the man in front of him, and just knew he was probably passing some ridiculous judgment. Gabriel plastered on another grin.

“Hello, are you new to the congregation?”

Crowley raised and eyebrow. “Uh, don’t know. Thought I’d stop by and see what the fuss was all about after Aziraphale here told me about it.”

Gabriel looked between the two with raised eyebrows. “Aziraphale convinced you to come?”

Crowley flashed Aziraphale a dashing grin. “Oh yeah, Aziraphale is _very_ persuasive.”

Aziraphale felt his face heat up and widened his eyes in a way that he hoped conveyed, ‘ _Shut up you idiot!’._ If it did, Crowley gave no sign of understanding.

“Really? I’ve never known that to be the case,” Gabriel said with a chuckle, smacking his hand on Aziraphale’s shoulder. “He’s always been a bit too shy.”

“What? No, can’t be the same Aziraphale I met. By the time he was done with me I was practically praising the heavens.”

When Gabriel glanced back at Aziraphale, Crowley wagged his eyebrows at him behind his back and gave a salacious lick of his lips.

_Oh, good Lord._

“Is that so?”

Aziraphale let out a nervous chuckle. “Oh, you know. Just, uh, doing what I can to help the church.”

“Oh, come on,” Crowley drawled. “Give yourself some credit. You were a real angel.”

It took everything in Aziraphale to keep the calm smile in place and not look at Gabriel in a panic. For his part, Gabriel was looking back and forth between the two of them, as though trying to parse together some deeper meaning. Luckily, it seemed he couldn’t find any. He gave another clap of his hands.

“Right. Well, mass will be starting any minute. Shall we get seats up front?”

Crowley scratched his neck and looked around. “Oh, uh, think I’ll sit in the back for my first time. Test the waters and all that.”

Gabriel turned to Aziraphale.

“Oh, um, I’ll sit in the back with him. Just in case he has any questions.”

“Of course. But I better hear you singing extra loud, sunshine!” he said with a laugh and soft nudge to Aziraphale’s gut.

They watched Gabriel walk away.

“Your brother seems like a real moron.”

“Crowley!” he hissed, stepping closer. “What on Earth are you doing here?”

He frowned and crossed his arms. “What are you talking about? You invited me.”

“Yes, but I didn’t actually think you were going to come! I was just flirting!”

Crowley’s brows rose over his sunglasses. “Why didn’t you think I was going to come?”

Aziraphale threw his hands up. “Because you said you had no interest in God or the church.”

Crowley pushed his sunglasses into his hair and narrowed his eyes. “Aziraphale… you did get that I was being sarcastic with Gabriel, right? I’m not actually here for the sermon, I came for you. I was doing a whole thing with the double entendre.”

“Of course I understood it! I would have to be as dense as, well, as Gabriel to not get it!”

“Then why are you making such a fuss?”

Aziraphale tugged him into the pew at the very back of the church just as everyone else was sitting down. He leaned in to whisper so they wouldn’t be heard.

“Because what do you think you’re doing, coming into my church and saying those things? You’re going to get me in trouble.”

Crowley slouched back in the pew in a way that looked entirely uncomfortable and impossibly sexy. His long legs stretched out, one pressing against Aziraphale’s own and making heat rise into his cheeks.

“You’re a grown man, how are you going to get in trouble?” But then he stopped, shooting a concerned look at Aziraphale. “Wait, does he not know you’re gay?”

Aziraphale huffed and rolled his eyes. “Look at me, of course he knows I’m gay! Don’t be preposterous. No, I can get in trouble because typically, we aren’t supposed to go into people’s home’s and have sex with them while out on missions! That’s certainly a sin if I’ve ever heard one.”

Crowley only grinned at that. “I don’t seem to remember you complaining on Friday night.”

“Well, no, I had a lovely time—”

“Then calm down, angel. Nobody is going to find out what happened. Promise.”

Aziraphale relaxed slightly, allowing some of the tension to slide from his shoulders.

Crowley continued. “Even if I do want to shout it from the rooftops because holy hell, that was the best orgasm of my life.”

Aziraphale huffed and turned to face the front, but he was trying incredibly hard to fight back the grin that wanted to break out on his face. The best orgasm of his life? Really? He had been told by past partners that he was good in bed, but Crowley had made it clear he was well traveled. Surely he couldn’t compare. Crowley nudged his shoulder with a smile of his own.

“Don’t think I don’t see you trying to hide that smug little grin, looking like the adorable angel you are.”

Aziraphale cast him a shy smile. “I am not adorable.”

“You _are_. Quite literally the most adorable man I’ve ever seen. And sexiest too.”

“Alright, now I know you’re having me on.”

“Why in hell would I do that? I’m being serious. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been in a church? I specifically avoid them at all cost. I wouldn’t have come here for just anyone. You’re special.”

Aziraphale’s heart beat faster at those words. Was it true? Did Crowley _actually_ like him? He sounded serious enough. He chewed his lip and looked towards the front of the church. But it was at that moment he felt a warm hand slide onto his thigh, making him jolt and suck in a breath. He glanced down to see Crowley’s lovely, long fingers kneading into the soft flesh of his thigh. Aziraphale’s cock was immediately interested, stiffening and tenting the front of his trousers. He did his best to remain calm and keep any emotion from his face, but he wasn’t sure how well he was accomplishing that.

The priest was speaking at the front, but Aziraphale wasn’t paying him a lick of attention. Every one of his senses were directed at the stunning red head beside him. Both men faced forward, but Crowley’s hand began to make its way up to Aziraphale’s straining cock. Crowley leaned in to whisper in his ear, his breath ghosting along Aziraphale’s neck and making him shiver.

“You can tell me to stop if you don’t want to do this angel. If the risk outweighs the reward, just move my hand.”

His heart was hammering in his chest. If anyone turned around right now or walked by, they would be seen. He would be humiliated. Crowley continued to massage higher and higher until Aziraphale brought his hand down on top of his. Crowley immediately stilled, and then began to pull away. But Aziraphale only tightened his grip on Crowley’s wrist. Golden eyes turned to look at him with surprise, and then Aziraphale moved his hand to rest on his cock. Crowley sucked in a breath, and when he glanced over at him, saw that he was hard in his jeans as well.

Crowley began to rub him through the material of his trousers and the friction was delicious. Aziraphale had to bite down on his bottom lip to stop from moaning for more. Crowley gripped and stroked him, all while the priest continued to give his sermon. It was all both too much and not enough. He stilled Crowley’s hand and whispered in his ear.

“I’m going to walk through that door to the right. Wait one minute and then follow me.”

Crowley let out the smallest of whines and nodded, his eyes alight with excitement. Aziraphale stood and smoothed out his waistcoat, then walked quietly to the door to the right. He knew that beyond it held only a short hallway and two closets, but that was fine. He wouldn’t need much room. Once safely on the other side of the door, he pressed his back to the wall and closed his eyes. He had never done anything like this before.

Aziraphale considered himself a good person, relatively safe and vanilla. He did his work, attended church, and spent time with good friends. But Crowley, oh, Crowley made him want to be bad. Crowley was a sin wrapped in a tight leather jacket, and Aziraphale wanted to devour him. To indulge and gluten himself on the fiery taste of Crowley. Nobody had ever made him feel this way before, and it was intoxicating. The door clicked open and Crowley slid in. The moment the door closed again, Aziraphale was on him.

Doing his best to be quiet and not bang anything, Aziraphale pressed him back against the wall and captured his mouth in his. Crowley hummed low in his chest, the vibration making Aziraphale’s hands shake. He tasted so good, in a way that he really shouldn’t. He slid a hand into his long hair and tugged, earning a loan moan.

“Hush,” he whispered against his mouth. “Someone will hear.”

Crowley brought his mouth down to drag his teeth across his jugular, and when he met his eye, the look he saw made his stomach burn hot.

“Let them.”

A stuttering breath shook Aziraphale’s body as he closed his eyes while Crowley’s hands dipped back down to the bulge in his trousers and began to massage him once more.

“N-no, we can’t. We have to be quiet.”

Crowley ghosted his mouth over his ear. “I’d suck you cock in front of all of them.”

Aziraphale thrust his hips forward and bit his lip hard to stop the sounds that wanted to spill from his lips. He felt Crowley grin wickedly against his cheek before pressing a kiss to it. Good Lord, had he involuntarily been seduced by the devil?

With a surge of boldness, he shoved Crowley back against the wall and pressed his hand over his mouth. Crowley’s eyebrows shot up at the dominating stance.

“I’m going to suck you cock, and if you make a single sound, I’ll stop and never fuck you again. Do you understand?”

Wide eyed, Crowley nodded. Aziraphale removed his hand from his mouth as he dropped to his knees and unfastened his silver belt buckle. It only took him a moment to get his jeans off and down to his knees. Crowley’s cock was hard and flushed and stood tantalizingly a few inches from his mouth. He glanced up through his lashes at Crowley, who was watching with his mouth hanging open. Oh, he was so lovely. How could he resist?

Aziraphale gripped the base and swiped his tongue over the slit, making Crowley hiss. He shot him a warning look and Crowley pressed his lips together tightly. Satisfied, he brought his lips back to his cock and sucked the head into the waiting heat of his mouth. He worked him slow, sliding his tongue along the underside and taking him deeper with each bob of his head. The salt bitter taste of him filled his senses and made him hum appreciatively. Crowley’s cock was a step above any other he had ever had, and he wanted to show him.

So on the next intake he opened his throat and slid him all the way back. Crowley’s hips shot forward and a hand came down to twist his curls. When he opened his eyes and looked up, he saw that Crowley was biting down on his fist and had his eyes screwed shut. He internally smiled. He loved seeing Crowley fall apart for him. It was easy after that to pick up the pace, using his hand and mouth to push him closer to the edge. But then the hand in his hair was tugging him off. Aziraphale frowned up at him.

“Is something wrong?” he whispered.

Crowley shook his head. “No, not wrong. But I want you to fuck me properly.”

He grinned. “That can be arranged.”

Aziraphale pulled open one of the closet doors and pushed Crowley so that he was bent over a cart of cleaning supplies. Aziraphale ran his hands over the smooth skin of his hips and cupped the round globe of his arse. That was when he saw the same gleaming black end of a plug as the other night. He smirked and raised an eyebrow as he twisted in slightly, making Crowley squirm.

“You were certainly confident, weren’t you?”

Crowley looked at him over his shoulder and winked. “Optimistic.”

“Indeed.”

Aziraphale eased it out and replaced it with his fingers, making sure he was loose and open enough, then held his hand in front of Crowley’s mouth.

“Spit.”

Crowley obliged and Aziraphale slicked himself with it. He pressed his chest to Crowley’s back and spoke into his ear.

“Same rules as before. You make a sound, we stop.”

Crowley nodded, and before his head could stop moving, Aziraphale pushed in. Crowley bit back a choking sound and pressed his forehead to the cart. Aziraphale was so on edge, he could tell this wouldn’t take long at all. He began to move fast, thrusting in and out with abandon. Just like Friday night, Crowley felt amazing wrapped around him. Perfectly tight and hot. His slim hips were the perfect width for Aziraphale to hold onto as he railed him from behind.

“God,” he breathed, ignoring the blasphemy of saying that while in a church. “You’re such a slut, aren’t you? Couldn’t even wait to have me inside you again.”

Crowley whined and pressed back harder against him. Aziraphale had noticed on that first night that he loved dirty talk and was more than willing to oblige.

“Did you prep yourself at home, thinking about me?”

Crowley nodded and Aziraphale smiled.

“I knew it. You couldn’t even go two days without being fucked. Do you offer yourself to everyone who comes to your door?”

Crowley looked at him over his shoulder and grinned. The sight was breathtaking.

“Just the pretty angels.”

Oh, he was so close. He hammered into him just as the choir in the main part of the church began. That meant they only had a few more minutes before service would be over. Aziraphale leaned forward and began to stroke Crowley in time with his thrusts.

“Shit!” Crowley choked out as he came hard, tightening around him and pulsing into his hand.

This helped pushed Aziraphale over the edge as he came in hot pumps inside Crowley. When the orgasm slowed, he carefully pulled out and grabbed one of the cleaning rags from the cart to wipe his hand and gather any excess cum on Crowley’s backside. Crowley stood up on wobbly legs and turned around as he pulled up his jeans and straightened himself out.

“Jesus, angel. I’m pretty sure I entered another plane of existence just then.”

Aziraphale shot him a coy smile. “I believe that’s called heaven.”

Crowley groaned and leaned back against the cart. “Oh man, you’re going to be cheesy now, aren’t you?

He gave a small wiggle. “I have been known to enjoy cheese every now and then.”

Crowley pinched the bridge of his nose. “What have I gotten myself into?”

“The only thing we need to get back into is our seats. Service is almost over.”

He cracked open the door and peered out. Everyone was still in their seats as the choir finished their hymn. Taking Crowley by the hand, he pulled them out and shut the door once more. They had barely sat back in their seats when everyone else began to shift and stand. Honestly, Aziraphale was extremely impressed with his timing. He and Crowley stood and shared a conspiratory smile.

“Well,” Gabriel said as he approached. “What did you think?”

Crowley gave a wide grin. “It was fantastic! Mind blowing, really.”

Aziraphale bit down on a smile of his own. Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

“Mind blowing?”

“Oh yeah, life changing. Doubt I’ll ever be able to go to another service again without thinking about this.”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes. He was really laying it on thick, but Gabriel seemed pleased.

“Well, I’ve always said our church is the best. Will you be coming again?”

Now Crowley turned his eyes on Aziraphale. “Oh, think I’ll be coming as many times as Aziraphale allows.”

Gabriel frowned and looked between the two. “Right… Well, I have some catching up to do with our other members. Great meeting you, Crowley.”

They watched as he strode off once more.

“He really is a dense mother fucker.”

“Crowley!” he chastised, smacking his arm.

Crowley only chuckled, but then he looked nervous. He let out a cough and rubbed the back of his neck.

“So, um, I’m not really sure what you were wanting out of this,” he waved a hand between them and Aziraphale’s heart sank.

He had let himself get his hopes up that Crowley wanted more than a few quick fucks, but if he felt it necessary to establish this as just that, Aziraphale would oblige.

“But,” Crowley continued, “I’d really like to see you again. Maybe actually plan it next time. There’s a great sushi place by my flat that has a fantastic happy hour menu on weekdays.”

Aziraphale’s heart skipped. “Are you asking me on a date?”

Crowley’s face turned a delightful shade of pink, which was ridiculous after what they had just done.

“Um, yeah, guess so. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No!” he said quickly. “I do. Want to. Go on a date with you, I mean.”

A huge grin broke out on Crowley’s face. “Right. Perfect. Fantastic. Um, here.” He handed him a card from his wallet with a number on it. “Text me.”

Aziraphale smiled shyly. “Alright.”

Crowley bit his lip and ran his eyes over him once more, then turned and sauntered out of the church. Aziraphale watched him go with a warm feeling in his chest. He felt someone sidle up beside him and turned to see Gabriel also watching Crowley leave. Probably thinking something judgmental.

“You just fucked that man in our church, didn’t you?”

**Author's Note:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley: Ah yes, so slick. Nobody expects a thing.  
> Gabriel: 😑


End file.
